They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo. Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.Įngland has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool. I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest. WORD OF THE DAY TOILET PAPER CRACKI'm seeing nothing but lighters" He responds starting to crack "Yeah! Nothing but matches!"Ī cartoonist was found dead in his home. Can you try it and see if that happens to me too." I type 'Lighter' into the search bar, submit the search and looking at my results, seeing product listings for lighters. He replies still sounding serious "I keep searching for lighters and the app keeps showing me matches. "So what did you need help with? Something about lighters" I ask. Let my just open the app." Pulling Amazon up on my phone. So I assumed he needed help with something like that. But his is getting issues like I've never seen. Can you open it on your phone for me" Recently he's been asking me for help with some computer stuff, I built it for him lately and it's got nothing problems, blue screens over stuff, he's very smart but I wouldn't say he's anywhere near 'tech-literate'. I keep searching for lighters and it's not working right. He said "soljakwinever I need your help with something on amazon. He called me on the phone, saying he needed help with doing something, sounding fairly serious on phone. He's someone who has been very creative in his ways when he delivers his jokes to his victims, I'm a bit ashamed I didn't see this one coming What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.Ī cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.Īfter the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it. What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing. What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous. Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"ĭo you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy. I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize. What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium. What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene. The shovel was a ground breaking invention.Ī scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."Ī Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."ĭid you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now. How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars. Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero. Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap. What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison. What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese. There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation. What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web. How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram. Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed. My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well. I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems. and pulled a mussel.ĭo you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market. How do you organize an outer space party? You planet. What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time. Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long! Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable. What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
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